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The Daily Rhino
Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Al Qaeda's next target - exclusive
WADING through the unmitigated tripe on The Daily Rhino, you'd be forgiven for thinking that this isn't a news blog. Well you'd be wrong. So wrong. To quote Gene Wilder, "WRONG!"

In fact breaking news has just reached the newsdesk of the DR. Watch now, as our
crack team's Grissom-esque brains piece together the puzzle of terror.

Exhibit A:
Militant Muslims aren't very fond of Israel.

Exhibit A

Let's consider that statement for a second. Is it Israel they don't like? Hardly. Most Muslims feel Israelis are a charming people, with quaint customs and enjoyable folk music. Prominent imams, vocal proponents of Israel Bonds, also feel Israel has much to offer:

Exhibit B

Smart men. No, what hardline Muslims really dislike is the Israeli FLAG. Ooh gosh they hate it:

Exhibit C

Now, I can't find the video for this, but what he actually shouted (rather vociferously) was "I love Israel, you're a nice bunch, but I hate this fucking flag man! Seriously dude, I just wanna burn the motherfuckah. BURN IT! BURN IT! AARRGHH, have you seen the video?!" Most are of the opinion that the intense rage many Muslims feel toward the flag stems from its origins, as it was originally drawn by a celebrated Danish cartoon flag maker and casino-owner.

So it was with some astonishment that during the nineteenth straight hour of looking for Target ads on Google Earth, that we spotted something monumental. Something that shook us to our very core. Exhibit D.

Exhibit D

This is London's Heathrow Airport, one of the busiest airports in the world. Just looking at it brings me out in urticaria. Oh the wheals.

My fellow Londoners, Arnie says we're all in deep do-do now.

Exhibit E

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