The Daily Rhino
Monday, January 30, 2006
Wank muscles
THESE are my wrists. For years medics and laymen alike have pondered over what bizarre anatomical aberrations cause the labelled structures.
Owing to the fact I can tense and relax the structures in question at will, we concluded they were muscles. As they seem to serve to abduct my hand, we were able to ascertain a side-to-side hand movement is the intended purpose.
It was, of course, obvious. These are the muscles of masturbation. They seem to have no other use. Is this Intelligent Design telling us we MUST joust? Or is this a sad reflection on my teenage years? If that's the case, the weird thing is I don't remember ever using my left hand. I guess we'll never know.
THESE are my wrists. For years medics and laymen alike have pondered over what bizarre anatomical aberrations cause the labelled structures.
Owing to the fact I can tense and relax the structures in question at will, we concluded they were muscles. As they seem to serve to abduct my hand, we were able to ascertain a side-to-side hand movement is the intended purpose.
It was, of course, obvious. These are the muscles of masturbation. They seem to have no other use. Is this Intelligent Design telling us we MUST joust? Or is this a sad reflection on my teenage years? If that's the case, the weird thing is I don't remember ever using my left hand. I guess we'll never know.
Comments:
DD, you think I'd put this on the Internet if it wasn't already common knowledge? All my friends know about these, I used to be the model for anatomy classes as you can see every surface marking on me. I can't decide whether I should be proud of that or not.
I've heard about that left-hand thing too. The only way it could be like a stranger is that it isn't as good as doing it yourself. Someone also told me that sitting on your hand for ages (till it goes numb) and then having a five knuckle shuffle is like someone else doing it. I'm not going to try.
I've heard about that left-hand thing too. The only way it could be like a stranger is that it isn't as good as doing it yourself. Someone also told me that sitting on your hand for ages (till it goes numb) and then having a five knuckle shuffle is like someone else doing it. I'm not going to try.
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